Hello! How have you been? I have been very well, and I’ve definitely been a good girl this year. There are many, many things I would like for Christmas, like cute new clothes (18 months), a wagon, educational toys, Dr. Suess books, or whatever else you’d like to surprise me with. But, Santa, what I’d like most is if you just left my toys on the doorstep, because, frankly, you scare the s**t out of me.
Hey – at least she didn’t pee on Santa, like last year!